Posted by Teri Skultety

At Ease With One’s Self

The people I’ve loved the most are those so confidently at ease with themselves, that they put others at ease. If there’s a guy railing against bacon, why it’s bad for you and no one should ever eat bacon because he hates it, and no one should ever listen to music from the 1950’s either, or read trashy paperbacks poolside, because it’s all bad in his exalted opinion of his opinions… and there’s a guy who is calm, confident, relaxed with himself, give me the calm person. If someone says they’ve got an entire room full of memorabilia from their favorite films, an addiction to root beer floats, and can’t watch enough Kung Fu, the man who trusts himself might simply say “Cool.” The insecure person will tell you all the reasons why that stuff is garbage. Well, I’d rather be around the confident person. Not only are confident people generally kinder, they’re also less likely to try to make themselves feel better by trying to make someone else feel bad. Some people are never happy, because they’re unhappy with themselves, so they’re constantly looking for someone else to feed off of, to reassure them that their opinions about bacon are correct. They don’t want you to be yourself, they want you to be a reflection of their ideas or opinions. All you’re going to learn from that, if it doesn’t cause you to shrink completely, is that you won’t have any room to grow as your own person in their presence. It’s a lesson it’s taken me all my life up to now to learn, at some emotional expense. Give me the people who are at ease with themselves, they make the world a livable place. They make the best teachers. They make the best lovers. They make the best friends. They help you when you fall, they encourage you to become confident in yourself, more importantly, they don’t push you down in the first place.ย  ~ Teri Skultety