There Is A Season

Let’s out deep breath wishes another cup of tea would make itself and bring itself upstairs to me…

It is October. Not only is it October, it is three weeks into October. We got home from a few days respite in July to a slew of home improvement projects that, for one reason or another, could not wait or be put off any longer. Twelve weeks later, this is the first week since then that none of that is going on. We’re not quite finished with the last couple of projects, but, we’ve got a break in the storm. Really, it’s all been a blessing, one way or another. You know how when you’ve been riding in a vehicle for a really long time, then you finally get where you’re going and that night, when you try to settle in to sleep, everything has stopped but it feels like everything is still moving for a minute? Got a little bit of that happening. Also got that thing going on where when there’s extra chores/tasks/projects you get behind on all the regular stuff. So, then it’s time to really clean everything, put the house back together, and try to get back to not running out of laundry detergent in between shopping trips. The other day I spent a good twenty minutes walking in a circle from my front yard, around the garage, into the back yard, and back again, looking for my sunglasses. I found them when I reached up to scratch my head.

In the midst of the whirlwind of activity going on around here, I passed my two-year sober anniversary. I couldn’t wait to get home and have a cup of tea today. The other day I quit drinking coffee, and I think that’s going to take this time. I would just basically stand over my coffee cup with a sugar shaker wide open until I could create a nice creamery syrup in the bottom of the cup before putting actual coffee in. I don’t miss the booze, and thus far, I don’t miss the coffee. I realized I got in such a hurry or was wanting so much to have all these chores done, that I got ahead of myself with some of my Halloween stuff. It was like mid-September and I was like, “Let’s get this show on the road!” I put my witchy picture up on the twitter and that sort of thing. By the time October 1 rolled around, I was planning my Thanksgiving menu. ( not really.) But I was way ahead of myself. Now, the days have become cooler. This evening it was time to get out the Starsky. ( that’s my big, comfy, cozy, sweater.) I think it looks very writerly. It shall serve me well in the coming months of fall and winter.

The other thing I somehow managed to do is put together another collection of stories. Twelve stories, one poem. Seven previously published online, five new. I think web zines and online publishing is completely awesome, but I want to see some of those stories preserved in print. The collection is dark fiction and horror, spooky stuff, the macabre, and the like. These were the stories I felt like working on. I also wrote one completely new story just for this book that I’d say is science fiction/horror.Β  I’m proof reading, editing, now. It is otherwise completed. I’ll be learning a new publishing platform with this one, so, we’ll see how it goes. Realistically, I’m thinking likely early next year for the release. We’ll see.

Comically, there’s also my personal ongoing saga with trying to read “Frankenstein”, which all these goings on has interrupted again. I had, have, this great, old, paperback copy of “Frankenstein”, but I couldn’t finish reading it because it’s so old, the pages kept slipping away from the binding. I happened to remember I needed another copy of it when I was at the bookstore, whenever that was, earlier this year. And… I still haven’t finished reading it. I can read through a novella length book in a day, under “normal” circumstances, but, for quite a while I’ve just been busy. I haven’t had time to read through a magazine. One might think I were easily distracted, on the contrary, it’s that I’m incredibly focused. So, one fine day, I shall complete the reading of “Frankenstein.” I could be reading right now. I’m doing this.

I have all these ideas and plans, things I want to do this holiday season, this fall and winter, tomorrow, right now, but I had all kinds of plans for the end of the summer too. I’m fighting hibernation mode, being as I’m a pretty hardcore introvert, it’s easy for me to get into that. I’m feeling like there are a lot of things I want to say, I just don’t quite have the words yet. I’m entering a different phase of life, of my life, starting to get a better idea of what that looks like. I would say there are certainly some things I’ve grown out of, for want of a better way to put it, because I think that phrase runs the risk of labeling whatever it is as “immature” and that isn’t necessarily what I mean, or the case. Such things are purely individual. Like I said, don’t quite have the words yet. I mentioned the other day that I think it’s good to have an idea of yourself, an understanding not only of who you are as person, but of who you want to be, what you would want your life to be like. I’m thinking about those things, and those kinds of things. Along those lines I’m looking at what works for me and what doesn’t, considering ideas regarding timelessness, as opposed to trends or fads, looking at, thinking about, what holds up for me, or has, up to this point. The word “winnow” or “winnowing” came to mind. Winnowing is a process of separating the wheat from the chaff, what is useful from what isn’t. Life is seasonal in that sometimes we’re planting, sometimes we’re harvesting, sometimes we’re separating the wheat from the chaff, sometimes we reach a place of “taking stock”, and sometimes that process begins itself anew. I’m coming out of a time of tremendous change. I wrote my way through it all. I’m feeling blessed and incredibly thankful. Now… also feeling… “Are we here? We’re here.”

Also thinking about writing something about one of my favorite tv shows, “The Walking Dead”, and probably will, just not right this minute. I’m going to go try to read something.