a moment

Days in Dreams

I’ve spent these days in dreams of you
these Knights in search of what is true
let all the world forgive me this
I’ve spent lifetimes searching
for your kiss.

 

I’ve had a very strange afternoon, in the most welcome way. Someone, something, unexpected “woke” me up, reminded me… of me, of an idea and an ideal. Then I saw this quote on tumblr, attributed to anonymous, “The right love will strengthen you, scare you, and give you the courage to share what your heart has survived.” And I thought, conversely, the wrong love will scare you, weaken you, and make you want to shrink and hide. And that’s very true. There are a lot of incredibly lousy people in the world who really only live to try to control others in some way. The people who don’t want you to be yourself, or for you to even find out for yourself who you are, well, they, those people, don’t want you. Those who only want you to be what they want you to be, to be who they think you should be or remember you as, they don’t want you either. Those who seek to control you, because they don’t trust you or your love for them, or because they’re afraid or insecure about what you might become if you were allowed to grow into yourself, well that isn’t love either. Those who mock you, who seek to turn everything you do, or everything you are, into a joke or something to make light of, well, guess what, that isn’t love, or even friendship, either.( That also says something about who they are as people, about how they feel about themselves. But don’t pity them too much, they think that’s funny too, because they’re so cool. Which isn’t to say I don’t have a sense of humor, I’m not talking about people whom I actually consider to be friends joking around, though there aren’t many of those.) On that note I’ll say that real love, and real friendship, for that matter, I think, have to be built on a foundation of respect for one another, and treating each other accordingly. (Make no mistake, there are those who will take until there is nothing left for you, or of you.) Every now and then, we get this great blessing of a person who, somehow, is able to restore us to ourselves, to bring us back to square. Sometimes without even trying to, sometimes just by being themselves or doing what they’re doing regardless of us, sometimes such individuals know us better than we know ourselves. However it works is beside the point, such people are rare. The ones who seem to know exactly the right thing to say at exactly the right time, in the right way, when everyone else is getting everything wrong…all it takes is that one person to save the day sometimes, to get it right. So someone/something kind of did that for me today, whether that was the intention or not, and I’ll take it. I’m thankful and grateful for it.

TS